Help Wanted

Well, in light of the response that I got to this post from Wednesday, it's become obvious that I need to bring on some staff to help me with my personal affairs. Hey, if Van Wilder can have an assistant and Toren can have her little Sidekick, then I think I can open up a position for a screener.

What is this you ask?

Simple, as Sarah and Diane pointed out, I simply need someone to help ensure that I'm no longer dating the moderately insane, the unattractive, or the relatively uninteresting. Simply put, the screener must be able to do quick, accurate evaluations of members of the female gender to ensure their ability to not drive me insane, and/or not be completely shunned by my friends for being retarded (MJ).

So what qualifications am I looing for for this position? Simple

1) You must be female. If you're a guy, you're just a wingman, and potentially out for your own agenda. That just won't work.

2) You must be reasonably attractive, but not so much that you intimidate the other girls. I don't want to roll around any of the bars with an unattractive girl. Seriously.

3) You must be reasonably unselfish, remember, you're working for me here. We're out for my social agenda here, not yours.


Interested? I thought so. I expect to receive a lot of applications, considering that the primary responsibility will be to hang out and go out on weekends with me. Hurry, apply now!