I'm too lethargic to type in a narrative form this morning, so this is getting done in convienent, memo/letter style. You know like Sarah always does, except hers are funny and interesting.
To the Woodford Girls
Steph: Thanks for dragging me out of Tequila Ranch. I was barely functioning at that point, completely incoherent, and probably would have tried to walk back to Lakewood from downtown, had you not hauled me out of there
Diane: I'm apologizing, b/c I'm sure at some point, I said something innappropriate to you while we were sitting in the living room once we got back to your house. That or I woke up your neighbor yelling at my broken cell phone.
Kim: I'm pretty sure that I stole the recliner from you when you were already sitting in it. I tried to just sit on the arm of it, but in my drunkeness, balancing wasn't something that was going to work either. Besides, you're bed was 20 feet away, so you totally had a place to sleep, that chair had my name all over it, if I could have spelled it at that point.....
Sarah: (auxiliary Woodford girl): Thanks for babysitting me in the cab so I didn't puke, even though you were also a mess. You rock.
To Other Offended Parties
Matt: Thank you for babysitting me while I was fighting my cell phone at Tequila Ranch, including holding my beer while I was trying to fix the phone so that I didn't spill MORE of it. I probably yelled at you too, I'm sorry.
Aaron: You were supposed to crash at my house Saturday night, and I don't know if I lost you, or vice versa, but we ended up seperated. Fortunately another friend was kind enough to take you in.
Drew: I always, always yell at you when I'm drunk. I probably did it again. You should be used to it by now. Toughen up.
My Entire Touch Football Team: I really sucked on Saturday. I mean, big time. I owe all of you a much better performance than that Steve Bellisari-ish debacle.
Tequila Ranch: How/why did you serve me alcoholon Saturday? You had no right to. I don't even remember walking up to the bar to place the offending order. You should probably have your liquor liscence revoked, but I won't reccommend that b/c you have really good food.
My Cell Phone: F-off. Seriously. How many times can you really stop working? I had to go buy a new one on Sunday thanks to you. Awesome. Word to the wise- refurbished phone=crap.
Well, hopefully that covers it, and if not, I'm sorry to everyone else who happened to have to cross my path on Saturday night. Really, to punish myself, I will take the traveling circus that is myself to Columbus this Saturday, and inflict this on the residents of that fair city.
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5 comments:
Gordo, I didn't even notice you were mad at your cell phone. Wait-I may or may not have 75 pictures on my phone of you totally losing your mind at Tequila Ranch. Sorry for your cell phone trouble, but seriously. It. Was. Awesome.
And I don't know what you mean when you say I was a mess. Just because a girl drinks an entire giant bottle of wine, 3 white russians and 4 or 5 amaretto sours does not mean she was a mess or has a drinking problem or felt like she was going to vomit all over herself all day the next day.
Gordon, yes, you did make a touch of scene with the phone, but I was very amused, and we got to lean on the mechanical bull while you tried to fix it. It did mean I missed food, but its okay because I bugged Diane enough while laying on her in the cab to open up hers and give me some. Diane, thanks for feeding me, even if it was just to shut me up.
Yes, through various sources, and a phone conversation with Drew, I found out that I may have slightly over reacted to my cell phone dying for the second time in a month...and may or may not have gotten us kicked out of Tequila Ranch....Oops
Well that I didn't know. That explains why all of the sudden we were quickly walking out the door. Nice job Gibby, you got us kicked out a bar. One that only you were drinking in. That's a good story.
Wait..I was the only one drinking? Damnit, that's how I end up spending too much money, by always needing to have a beer in my hand
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