Wednesday, June 01, 2005

More Chaotic than You

Boys and Girls

I apologize for taking over 24 hours to get you an update on Britney and Kevin: Come See Us On Divorce Court in August...However, these things do take time. That, and a fresh cocktail. Without further ado....


9:05-They start out with the goddamn night vision again. Really, I'm so damn sick of it. At least they aren't on screen making out this time.

9:06 They start talking about who loves who. Britney says she loves him, Kevin doesn't say anything. Britney tells him "Well I thought that's how I felt, but I take it back now" Do you think she had a lobotomy recently? Or has she always been this retarded.

9:08 Britney "All we do is live a bunch of different moments". Yes, and you, and I, and everyone else is going to be wishing for this one back.....

9:09 Britney smoking a cigarette. My faith in White Trash Britney is restored! Maybe they can start making a Britney WT doll to combat the Lohan doll.....

9:10 Britney boxing and goofing off with her bodyguards. Strange, but the first time in 3 weeks I haven't seen her with Kevin, or talking, and I don't find her nauseating.....

9:11 Kevin "Nothing worth having ever is (easy)" Well, I'll give him credit, he's working pretty damn hard on this scam.....so I guess it isn't easy.....

9:16 They start talking about Brad Pitt, and sleeping with other people, and I'm not even sure if either of them are capable of coherent thoughts......

9:18 Britney smokes again! Awesome. Every mother of a 12-15 year old girl just cringed more in the last five minutes than during the Britney-Madonna kiss incident. Remember kids, dyking it out is just an experiment, smoking is flat out bad for you.....

9:20 Britney "I feel like I'm living a movie right now" Really? Then turn off the fucking camera.

9:22 Britney and Kevin talk about how they are feeling for each other, with Kevin saying that it's not a hook up that it's "one of those things that's too good to be true" I'm melting my flip flops to my feet using a lighter right now.......

9:24 Britney talks about how Kevin was being a control freak when they went to the clubs. Chill baby. He's just protecting his cash cow...ya know??

9:26 Extreme close up and extended speaking part for K-Fed. Can we get an over/under on what year he completed in school? I'll say 10th grade....and take the under.

9:27 Kevin "I'm far from perfect" Smartest thing he's said in 3 weeks, maybe even his entire life.

9:29 Show's over. My alma-mater just called and asked for their diploma back......

2 comments:

Kara0303 said...

TOO FUNNY!! My favorite parts:

I'm melting my flip flops to my feet using a lighter right now.......

I'll say 10th grade....and take the under.

My alma-mater just called and asked for their diploma back......

Damn, that show is dumb! But you my friend just crack me up! You've now got me watching it just so I know what you're talking about.

Sarah said...

I can't believe you're still watching this show, Gordo. That's true dedication. Just thinking about being on the air makes me throw up in my mouth a little.

I'm pretty sure this show is killing more of your brain cells than drinking does, and that is saying a lot since you clearly have a drinking problem. Ahahaha-just kidding. All I'm saying is you hate drinking, and I never see you drunk on the weekends.