For the MLB All-Star Game. I'm a huge baseball fan, as some of you know, but sadly enough, today is the first day that I've gotten to vote. So I'm voting. A lot. It's fine.
Here's how my ballot broke down, incase anyone cares:
American League
First Base:M. Teixeira, TEX
Second Base: B. Roberts, BAL
Third Base:H. Blalock, TEX
Shortstop:M. Tejada, BAL
Catcher:J. Mauer, MIN
Outfielder:V. Guerrero, LAA
Outfielder:M. Ramirez, BOS
Outfielder:I. Suzuki, SEA
DH:D. Ortiz, BOS
National League
First Base: A. Pujols, STL
Second Base: J. Kent, LAD
Third Base:S. Rolen, STL
Shortstop:A. Gonzalez, FLA
Catcher:P. Lo Duca, FLA
Outfielder:B. Abreu, PHI
Outfielder:M. Cabrera, FLA
Outfielder:J. Edmonds, STL
Head on over to MLB.com to get your votes in
Only 5 Days Until Las Vegas
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Change is Good, Allegedly.
On my drive into work today, I happened to be flipping around the radio, checking for traffic, sports and other things that matter, and managed to get an interesting piece of news on the radio.
We're being bought, sold, whatever you want to call it.
Now, I've always made it a policy that I don't talk about my work here on my blog, but this one affects myself, and everyone that I work with on a significant enough level that I feel like brining it up. They're talking about the fact that significant part of our workforce is going to be cut in the restructuring, and even though we've all assured ourselves that it won't affect us, there's no guarantees.
We're being bought, sold, whatever you want to call it.
Now, I've always made it a policy that I don't talk about my work here on my blog, but this one affects myself, and everyone that I work with on a significant enough level that I feel like brining it up. They're talking about the fact that significant part of our workforce is going to be cut in the restructuring, and even though we've all assured ourselves that it won't affect us, there's no guarantees.
Needless to say, I may be joining the "looking for work" ranks sometime in the somewhat near future. It's not a position that I've been in in the last 4 years, so who knows.
I think the part that gets me a bit is the way I found out about it. Again, I heard it on the radio.
It's like if a baseball team decides to trade a player, or worse, move the whole franchise, and the player, or the whole team, doesn't find out until they hear about it on the news. It's kind of odd. Today's going to be a wierd day, so we'll see if I have anything else to post about. My brain is kind of going in a lot of different directions.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Things Getting under my Skin right now
My LaunchCast Radio Station
I know nothing is perfect, but when I program you to play these bands:
Matchbox Twenty,Barenaked Ladies,The Offspring,R.E.M.,Red Hot Chili Peppers,U2,Blink 182
John Mayer,Simple Plan,The White Stripes,Maroon 5,Sum 41,Good Charlotte and Green Day.
And you give me: The Cardigans, Rod Stewart, Three Doors Down, Ryan Cabrera and Ashley Simpson, I want to reach through my computer and throttle whoever is programming you. Fortunately, you just played Island in the Sun by Weezer, so I'm letting it slide for now......
The Cavaliers:
Let me get this straight, you traded a first rounder next year for Jiri Welsch, got 16 games at 2.9 points per game out of him, and then traded him for a second round pick next year. What? You just rented the guy, and gave up a pick to do it. Did I mention that he contributed nothing? Goddamnit, stupid Cleveland sports.
My Dryer:
Listen, asshole, I know it's an unspoken agreement that things are going to disappear inside of you occassionally, especially socks and the like. But do me a favor, take the old white ones I use when I'm running or playing sports, not the good ones that cost a little bit more that I wear when I go to work or out. I now have at least 4 different socks that have a certain pattern or something that are missing their partners and are therefore, totally worthless.
The Light Outside my Backdoor
I mean, I like falling down the stairs as much as the next guy, but seriously, how do you burn out after being used for a month or two? Aren't light bulbs supposed to last like 1000 hours or something? I certainly don't leave you on continuously, and don't use you anymore than any of my other lights, in fact, probably less, b/c you only get turned on if I'm using the stairs at night. However, I'm going to be changing you tonight for the 5th time in the year that I've lived there. The last three days going down to the basement to do laundry has been like The Temple of effing Doom, I'm just waiting for something to shoot out of the walls, it's so damn dark in there.
6 Days Until Vegas (This is definitely not annoying to me)
I know nothing is perfect, but when I program you to play these bands:
Matchbox Twenty,Barenaked Ladies,The Offspring,R.E.M.,Red Hot Chili Peppers,U2,Blink 182
John Mayer,Simple Plan,The White Stripes,Maroon 5,Sum 41,Good Charlotte and Green Day.
And you give me: The Cardigans, Rod Stewart, Three Doors Down, Ryan Cabrera and Ashley Simpson, I want to reach through my computer and throttle whoever is programming you. Fortunately, you just played Island in the Sun by Weezer, so I'm letting it slide for now......
The Cavaliers:
Let me get this straight, you traded a first rounder next year for Jiri Welsch, got 16 games at 2.9 points per game out of him, and then traded him for a second round pick next year. What? You just rented the guy, and gave up a pick to do it. Did I mention that he contributed nothing? Goddamnit, stupid Cleveland sports.
My Dryer:
Listen, asshole, I know it's an unspoken agreement that things are going to disappear inside of you occassionally, especially socks and the like. But do me a favor, take the old white ones I use when I'm running or playing sports, not the good ones that cost a little bit more that I wear when I go to work or out. I now have at least 4 different socks that have a certain pattern or something that are missing their partners and are therefore, totally worthless.
The Light Outside my Backdoor
I mean, I like falling down the stairs as much as the next guy, but seriously, how do you burn out after being used for a month or two? Aren't light bulbs supposed to last like 1000 hours or something? I certainly don't leave you on continuously, and don't use you anymore than any of my other lights, in fact, probably less, b/c you only get turned on if I'm using the stairs at night. However, I'm going to be changing you tonight for the 5th time in the year that I've lived there. The last three days going down to the basement to do laundry has been like The Temple of effing Doom, I'm just waiting for something to shoot out of the walls, it's so damn dark in there.
6 Days Until Vegas (This is definitely not annoying to me)
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
I almost forgot
Internets! Rejoice!
Okay, I'm probably the only one who's excited about this, but I found a blog written by one of my favorite bands: Yellowcard. I know a few other people that read this are fans, so it's kind of cool to check out. Apparently the new album won't be out till next year though, which kind sucks....I've pretty much run Ocean Ave. into the ground
Okay, I'm probably the only one who's excited about this, but I found a blog written by one of my favorite bands: Yellowcard. I know a few other people that read this are fans, so it's kind of cool to check out. Apparently the new album won't be out till next year though, which kind sucks....I've pretty much run Ocean Ave. into the ground
One Week to Go
I'm officially one week away from Las Vegas. 7 Days.
That means, by this time next week I will be just about to board a plane for 3 days of full out debauchery. The scary part is, we're pretty much set, and somehow, with three people planning the trip for the 12 guys that are going.
I can honestly say that I've never looked forward to a vacation more.
Last night, I bought the last few stupid little things that I'll need for the trip, you know, travel toothbrush and junk like that. I also stopped over at one of the guys' houses who's going just to catch up on last minute details. J has all of our club/line passes that he hooked up with on Ebay the last time he went, and we called and made a reservation at Battista's for Thrusday night. Did I mention that their house wine comes complimentary with every meal? After seeing what a part of this group did to the monster bottles of wine at Buca Di Bepo, I'm not sure how good of an idea this is. However, I'll go on record as saying that it looks amazing.
We'll also be making appearances at Ra, Rain, and VooDoo Lounge, to name a few.
I promise, there will be stories, pictures, and the like when I get back.
Also, I'm going to need something to listen to on the plane, musicwise...anybody have any suggestions of anything new that they've been listening to that they like? let me know
That means, by this time next week I will be just about to board a plane for 3 days of full out debauchery. The scary part is, we're pretty much set, and somehow, with three people planning the trip for the 12 guys that are going.
I can honestly say that I've never looked forward to a vacation more.
Last night, I bought the last few stupid little things that I'll need for the trip, you know, travel toothbrush and junk like that. I also stopped over at one of the guys' houses who's going just to catch up on last minute details. J has all of our club/line passes that he hooked up with on Ebay the last time he went, and we called and made a reservation at Battista's for Thrusday night. Did I mention that their house wine comes complimentary with every meal? After seeing what a part of this group did to the monster bottles of wine at Buca Di Bepo, I'm not sure how good of an idea this is. However, I'll go on record as saying that it looks amazing.
We'll also be making appearances at Ra, Rain, and VooDoo Lounge, to name a few.
I promise, there will be stories, pictures, and the like when I get back.
Also, I'm going to need something to listen to on the plane, musicwise...anybody have any suggestions of anything new that they've been listening to that they like? let me know
Monday, June 27, 2005
A short one....
Wow,
I just reread my post from yesterday, and managed to even depress myself. So there won't be anymore of that. What's done is done, all I can do is try to be a better person and stop and think before I open my mouth going forward.
That being said, let's move on to more amusing things.
I think I got the most amusing Google hit on my blog since I started it:
Tom Cruise idiot crybaby asshole
I couldn't agree more.
In light of the fact that I was depressing yesterday, (or this morning) depending on when you read my last post, I feel like I owe a light hearted story from my younger (and more retarded days).
While at the wedding on Saturday, or more precisely, while at the open bar, somebody asked me if I wanted to do a shot with them. I, being an alcoholic, accepted, but with the stipulation "as long as it isn't vodka, I can't do it." The person standing at the bar with me said "What? Why not? Vodka's easy"
That brings me to the story. You know how everyone has that story about the first time they got drunk? Mine involves vodka. Lots of it. And it wasn't the good stuff, like Grey Goose or Absolut or Skyy. No, it was my freshman year of college, so we were going bargain basement booze. Korski and Colonial Club vodka. Now, if you aren't familiar with those brands, please, for the love of God, don't ever become so.
Now, the way this shakes down is pretty damn entertaining. Neither my two roomates or I drank in high school, so we were all a little nervous to be giving this a shot. So, one of the older guys, who happened to be a connisseur of cheap vodka, said that since he was going to be hanging out with us anyways, he would keep an eye on us and make sure nobody put themselves in a coma or anything like that. Okay, fair enough, sounds like a plan, right?
Wrong.
Once we acquired copious amounts of said cheap alcohol, and the requisite amount of cherry Kool-Aid to mix with it, we were set for good times..
Did I just say cherry Kool-Aid? Yes. Yes I did. As if the cheap vodka wasn't enough to make us look pathetic, we were mixing with Kool-Aid. Apparently, I couldn't find any Tang or generic OJ.
We started out innocently enough, mixing our cocktails in large, Speedway fountain drink plastic cups and playing euchre. (Really does it get any more Midwest than that?) Now, the one thing that we forgot to account for was that, as we got intoxicated, so was our "mentor", thereby making him less likely to "keep an eye on us". As it stood, about two hours into this ordeal we started to get relatively loopy. Not understanding that alcohol takes a bit of time to get into the system and have it's effect, I thought I was doing amazingly well, b/c I barely even felt a buzz.
It was at this point that our more senior member disappeared, and I subsequently acquainted myself with the BOTTLE of Colonial Club. When I say acquainted, I mean I parked my butt on the couch, decided I didn't need anymore Kool-Aid, and started drinking straight from the bottle, thinking that I was being sneaky, but not at all so in reality. Now mind you, I was already getting drunk, and being this was my first session of true "drinking" I certainly didn't have much in the way of tolerance. So about 10:30 I start to feel really warm and light headed, and not so super anymore.
Someone, somehow said "dude, go take a quick shower, it will totally help" The only thing it helped was getting me closer to the bathroom, because I needed it. The shower didn't help other than to leave me with a soaking wet head while I puked all over the bathroom. Repeatedly. Now, if there is one thing a person who's suddenly violenly ill doesn't need to see, it's pools and pools of their own, bright red, Kool-Aid stained vomit. Words cannot even express how awful it was. I finally, mercifully passed out about 1 am, after throwing up 3 times, all of them violent.
Granted, that wasn't as bad as waking up 7 hours later, throwing up 3 more times, and spending the day in bed with the worst headache ever. In retrospect, I should be happy I woke up in my own bed, alive, and not covered in my own puke....
THAT, my friends, is why I don't drink vodka.
I just reread my post from yesterday, and managed to even depress myself. So there won't be anymore of that. What's done is done, all I can do is try to be a better person and stop and think before I open my mouth going forward.
That being said, let's move on to more amusing things.
I think I got the most amusing Google hit on my blog since I started it:
Tom Cruise idiot crybaby asshole
I couldn't agree more.
In light of the fact that I was depressing yesterday, (or this morning) depending on when you read my last post, I feel like I owe a light hearted story from my younger (and more retarded days).
While at the wedding on Saturday, or more precisely, while at the open bar, somebody asked me if I wanted to do a shot with them. I, being an alcoholic, accepted, but with the stipulation "as long as it isn't vodka, I can't do it." The person standing at the bar with me said "What? Why not? Vodka's easy"
That brings me to the story. You know how everyone has that story about the first time they got drunk? Mine involves vodka. Lots of it. And it wasn't the good stuff, like Grey Goose or Absolut or Skyy. No, it was my freshman year of college, so we were going bargain basement booze. Korski and Colonial Club vodka. Now, if you aren't familiar with those brands, please, for the love of God, don't ever become so.
Now, the way this shakes down is pretty damn entertaining. Neither my two roomates or I drank in high school, so we were all a little nervous to be giving this a shot. So, one of the older guys, who happened to be a connisseur of cheap vodka, said that since he was going to be hanging out with us anyways, he would keep an eye on us and make sure nobody put themselves in a coma or anything like that. Okay, fair enough, sounds like a plan, right?
Wrong.
Once we acquired copious amounts of said cheap alcohol, and the requisite amount of cherry Kool-Aid to mix with it, we were set for good times..
Did I just say cherry Kool-Aid? Yes. Yes I did. As if the cheap vodka wasn't enough to make us look pathetic, we were mixing with Kool-Aid. Apparently, I couldn't find any Tang or generic OJ.
We started out innocently enough, mixing our cocktails in large, Speedway fountain drink plastic cups and playing euchre. (Really does it get any more Midwest than that?) Now, the one thing that we forgot to account for was that, as we got intoxicated, so was our "mentor", thereby making him less likely to "keep an eye on us". As it stood, about two hours into this ordeal we started to get relatively loopy. Not understanding that alcohol takes a bit of time to get into the system and have it's effect, I thought I was doing amazingly well, b/c I barely even felt a buzz.
It was at this point that our more senior member disappeared, and I subsequently acquainted myself with the BOTTLE of Colonial Club. When I say acquainted, I mean I parked my butt on the couch, decided I didn't need anymore Kool-Aid, and started drinking straight from the bottle, thinking that I was being sneaky, but not at all so in reality. Now mind you, I was already getting drunk, and being this was my first session of true "drinking" I certainly didn't have much in the way of tolerance. So about 10:30 I start to feel really warm and light headed, and not so super anymore.
Someone, somehow said "dude, go take a quick shower, it will totally help" The only thing it helped was getting me closer to the bathroom, because I needed it. The shower didn't help other than to leave me with a soaking wet head while I puked all over the bathroom. Repeatedly. Now, if there is one thing a person who's suddenly violenly ill doesn't need to see, it's pools and pools of their own, bright red, Kool-Aid stained vomit. Words cannot even express how awful it was. I finally, mercifully passed out about 1 am, after throwing up 3 times, all of them violent.
Granted, that wasn't as bad as waking up 7 hours later, throwing up 3 more times, and spending the day in bed with the worst headache ever. In retrospect, I should be happy I woke up in my own bed, alive, and not covered in my own puke....
THAT, my friends, is why I don't drink vodka.
Sunday, June 26, 2005
Stop. Talking. Really.
Seriously, I need a voice in my head that says that. Badly.
Unfortunately for me, I don't, therefore stuff comes out of my mouth, especially when I'm drunk, that shouldn't come out of my mouth, and I end up a) offending people and b) making myself look really dumb.
So, if you were around when I was in my little 20 minute fit last night after I got into a fight with the cab place dispatcher (yeah, how pathetic is that, I let some guy who makes 7 dollars an hour working the phones on a Saturday night get under my skin), I apologize, and I'm pathetic.
Needless to say, this is the second straight Sunday where I feel like an asshole as a result of things I said/did in a drunken fit. For whatever reason, I've had a real short fuse lately, and turned into an angry drunk, which isn't really like me. It's enough to make me wonder what the hell is wrong with me, b/c I have a great group of very good friends, who are all very good people, so it's definitely not that. It's not school, b/c I'm not even going this semester. I'm assuming that I must just be so stressed/fed up with my job that I'm venting it out at odd moments, like when I'm drunk. Either way, it's still annoying, and I can't imagine putting up with me on a regular basis right now.
Unfortunately for me, I don't, therefore stuff comes out of my mouth, especially when I'm drunk, that shouldn't come out of my mouth, and I end up a) offending people and b) making myself look really dumb.
So, if you were around when I was in my little 20 minute fit last night after I got into a fight with the cab place dispatcher (yeah, how pathetic is that, I let some guy who makes 7 dollars an hour working the phones on a Saturday night get under my skin), I apologize, and I'm pathetic.
Needless to say, this is the second straight Sunday where I feel like an asshole as a result of things I said/did in a drunken fit. For whatever reason, I've had a real short fuse lately, and turned into an angry drunk, which isn't really like me. It's enough to make me wonder what the hell is wrong with me, b/c I have a great group of very good friends, who are all very good people, so it's definitely not that. It's not school, b/c I'm not even going this semester. I'm assuming that I must just be so stressed/fed up with my job that I'm venting it out at odd moments, like when I'm drunk. Either way, it's still annoying, and I can't imagine putting up with me on a regular basis right now.
Friday, June 24, 2005
Much Better....
Just for the record, I've learned how easy it is for a calzone from Tomaydo Tomahto to make my whole day go so much better. Also, it's absolutely beautiful outside, but really hot. However, to get that one hour reprieve from the claustrophobic office, I'll take a little bit of sweating around the unmentionables. Hopefully, it stays this night out so that I can enjoy it with a cocktail or three.
Also, I saw some of the quotes that made the AFI Top 100 List, and I have to say, that I was in a certain sense a bit disappointed. Granted, I'm not the most artsy person in the world, but there weren't a lot of funny movies quoted in there, and I know that the movies my friends and I quote the most often are comedies, not films made 30 years before I was born. True, I doubt that most of the people in charge of the AFI own Old School, Swingers, The Big Lebowski, or Van Wilder, but still......
Nevertheless, since I'm bored, I figured I'd post a few of my favorite quotes:
"She already left me once, I don't think she'd do it again just for kicks" George Clooney, Oceans 11
"Great idea Frank, one vagina for the rest of your life, congratulations" Vince Vaughn, Old School
"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere" Ryan Reynolds, Van Wilder
"We got no jobs, we got no food, our pets heads are falling off!!" Jim Carrey, Dumb and Dumber
"I'm gonna make Gretzky's head bleed for super fan 99 over here" Vince Vaughn, Swingers
"Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. My only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired."
Ron Livingston, Office Space (tell me this isn't a definition of life for most of us)
So there, ingest, reflect, drink....2 hours till the weeknd...enjoy
Also, I saw some of the quotes that made the AFI Top 100 List, and I have to say, that I was in a certain sense a bit disappointed. Granted, I'm not the most artsy person in the world, but there weren't a lot of funny movies quoted in there, and I know that the movies my friends and I quote the most often are comedies, not films made 30 years before I was born. True, I doubt that most of the people in charge of the AFI own Old School, Swingers, The Big Lebowski, or Van Wilder, but still......
Nevertheless, since I'm bored, I figured I'd post a few of my favorite quotes:
"She already left me once, I don't think she'd do it again just for kicks" George Clooney, Oceans 11
"Great idea Frank, one vagina for the rest of your life, congratulations" Vince Vaughn, Old School
"Worrying is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but it doesn't get you anywhere" Ryan Reynolds, Van Wilder
"We got no jobs, we got no food, our pets heads are falling off!!" Jim Carrey, Dumb and Dumber
"I'm gonna make Gretzky's head bleed for super fan 99 over here" Vince Vaughn, Swingers
"Eight, Bob. So that means when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. My only real motivation is not to be hassled, that, and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired."
Ron Livingston, Office Space (tell me this isn't a definition of life for most of us)
So there, ingest, reflect, drink....2 hours till the weeknd...enjoy
Annoying
Let me start today by stating that I am NOT a babysitter. However, we have some new people that just joined our department that happen to be sitting right behind me. Not only are they completely lost and interrupting me to ask questions a lot, a couple of them are also the loud, excited to be in a new department type. This does not sit well with me on a Friday morning, for, as we all know, I am an impatient and unkind person.
Having said that, I'm sporting a pretty good headache today. And no, it's not from behing hungover. This time. So anymore comments about my drinking, well, save them for Monday.
Also, I'm apologizing up front to the city of Columbus, most notably the bars and the reception hall where the wedding I'm going to will be. I'm sorry for being drunk, retarded, and beligerent this coming Saturday. Hey, sometimes there is redemption in apologizing up front.
I wish I had something more interesting to write about, but sadly, I'm lame.
Additionally, I'm helping a co-worker come up with songs to play at their wedding, you know stuff that's fun and will get people up and dancing. I could use some suggestions, since most of my musical tastes are not all fun, happy party music.
11 Days Until Las Vegas
Having said that, I'm sporting a pretty good headache today. And no, it's not from behing hungover. This time. So anymore comments about my drinking, well, save them for Monday.
Also, I'm apologizing up front to the city of Columbus, most notably the bars and the reception hall where the wedding I'm going to will be. I'm sorry for being drunk, retarded, and beligerent this coming Saturday. Hey, sometimes there is redemption in apologizing up front.
I wish I had something more interesting to write about, but sadly, I'm lame.
Additionally, I'm helping a co-worker come up with songs to play at their wedding, you know stuff that's fun and will get people up and dancing. I could use some suggestions, since most of my musical tastes are not all fun, happy party music.
11 Days Until Las Vegas
Thursday, June 23, 2005
I Really Am Out of It
I must have really not been paying attention to my entertaiment and gossip sites.
Apparently Martha Stewart is taking over The Apprentice. Are you serious??? How did I miss this? Sadly, she's not releasing her "You're fired"-type catch phrase. I mean really, Marth f-ing Stewart? Was Katie Couric not available? What are the challenges going to be? Create fun and festive tableclothes? Design gift baskets for the poor? Perform successful insider trading deals without getting caught? Save Kmart from bankruptcy? Not that I watched the show before b/c I thought it was ridiculous, but come on.....
I think the catch phrase should be something along the lines of "Go Directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200" or...."Looks like you'll still be shopping at Kmart" while she smiles into the camera like a dope...
Apparently Martha Stewart is taking over The Apprentice. Are you serious??? How did I miss this? Sadly, she's not releasing her "You're fired"-type catch phrase. I mean really, Marth f-ing Stewart? Was Katie Couric not available? What are the challenges going to be? Create fun and festive tableclothes? Design gift baskets for the poor? Perform successful insider trading deals without getting caught? Save Kmart from bankruptcy? Not that I watched the show before b/c I thought it was ridiculous, but come on.....
I think the catch phrase should be something along the lines of "Go Directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200" or...."Looks like you'll still be shopping at Kmart" while she smiles into the camera like a dope...
And This is Why Ibuprofen Was Invented
Kind of a rough morning over here kids. Went out with a couple of friends last night, had a few more than I should have, didn't roll in until a little before 1, courtesy of Drew and the Woodford girls. Well them and the left over beer from Saturday night. I didn't even really indulge myself, but apparently sleeping 5.5 hours and having a few cocktails isn't a recipe for feeling good in the morning.
You'd think at the age of 26 I'd have learned the phrase "No thanks, I need to go home and get some sleep" in our language, but obviously, I'm retarded.
Other than that, I have very little of interest to discuss today. I know I posted something earlier that I probably need to address, but this isn't a good time for it. Mabye another time kids.....
You'd think at the age of 26 I'd have learned the phrase "No thanks, I need to go home and get some sleep" in our language, but obviously, I'm retarded.
Other than that, I have very little of interest to discuss today. I know I posted something earlier that I probably need to address, but this isn't a good time for it. Mabye another time kids.....
Shoot Me
I can honestly say I've never wanted out of a situation more than I do right now.
Let's just leave it at that.
12 Days To Vegas
Let's just leave it at that.
12 Days To Vegas
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Miscellaneous
This is a couple of weeks old, but:
"You know what? I'm sure drug dealers on the street in some way, they're making money. That's what I equate it to. Here's the thing you have to understand with psychiatry. There is no science behind it. And to pretend that there is a science behind it is criminal."-- Tom Cruise on the evils of psychiatry
Tom. Please. Stop. Talking. Seriously. Accredited phsyicians and drug dealers are the same thing? Nice. Hopefully when Katie finally snaps out of whatever funk she's in and leaves him, and he has a complete breakdown, the shrink they send him to will remember this. I can only imagine how that conversation would go.
Tom: You know, doctor, I'm really feeling awful and depressed, and coming to grips with my age and potential homosexuality is really frigthening to me.
Doctor: Well, Tom, after the end of a relationship, even one that's a total farce, it's common to feel like that. I'd be more than happy to prescribe something to you, but since I'm nothing more than a drug dealer, I certainly don't think that would be appropriate. Here try this instead. (hands him a piece of paper)
Tom: What's this?
Doctor: Directions to the tallest building in town. Go up the the top floor, walk outside, and jump. Let Nature take it's course.
Okay, so that was bad, but I'm having a rough day. I got to work 20 minutes late b/c somebody flipped their car on the Valley View bridge and backed up traffic for oh, about 5 MILES. Apparently, on a straight strech of highway you can actually still flip your car over. In broad daylight. On a clear day. That figures...
13 Days until Las Vegas/18 Days until Las Vegas stories.
There. Now we can both be excited. And when I say both, I mean myself, and my four readers.
By the way, just a note, when you have questionable cholesterol, beware of the office food day. You know the ones where people bring in food and order out and stuff? Donuts, pizza, chips, soda? This is not a balanced diet. Fat kid is taking lunch and going for a walk.
"You know what? I'm sure drug dealers on the street in some way, they're making money. That's what I equate it to. Here's the thing you have to understand with psychiatry. There is no science behind it. And to pretend that there is a science behind it is criminal."-- Tom Cruise on the evils of psychiatry
Tom. Please. Stop. Talking. Seriously. Accredited phsyicians and drug dealers are the same thing? Nice. Hopefully when Katie finally snaps out of whatever funk she's in and leaves him, and he has a complete breakdown, the shrink they send him to will remember this. I can only imagine how that conversation would go.
Tom: You know, doctor, I'm really feeling awful and depressed, and coming to grips with my age and potential homosexuality is really frigthening to me.
Doctor: Well, Tom, after the end of a relationship, even one that's a total farce, it's common to feel like that. I'd be more than happy to prescribe something to you, but since I'm nothing more than a drug dealer, I certainly don't think that would be appropriate. Here try this instead. (hands him a piece of paper)
Tom: What's this?
Doctor: Directions to the tallest building in town. Go up the the top floor, walk outside, and jump. Let Nature take it's course.
Okay, so that was bad, but I'm having a rough day. I got to work 20 minutes late b/c somebody flipped their car on the Valley View bridge and backed up traffic for oh, about 5 MILES. Apparently, on a straight strech of highway you can actually still flip your car over. In broad daylight. On a clear day. That figures...
13 Days until Las Vegas/18 Days until Las Vegas stories.
There. Now we can both be excited. And when I say both, I mean myself, and my four readers.
By the way, just a note, when you have questionable cholesterol, beware of the office food day. You know the ones where people bring in food and order out and stuff? Donuts, pizza, chips, soda? This is not a balanced diet. Fat kid is taking lunch and going for a walk.
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Crybaby, Cry
I know everyone has already heard the Tom Cruise squirted by a fake microphone at a British movie premiere story. I have to say, I think it was pretty damn funny. It was also sad, b/c it made Tom look more and more like a homosexual. Couple of quick thoughts on this one:
First of all, Tom, really, it was WATER. I'm pretty sure that you, in all your metro-sexualness, have taken a shower, or come into contact with water before. It's a pretty natural part of our society. However, perhaps because of your Scientology/cult background, you can only accept water that has been 'blessed' by L Ron Hubbard or something.
Secondly, could you have acted like any more of a pansy about it? You called the guy a jerk like 4 times and said something to the effect of "I'm standing here answering your questions, and you do something like that" Tom. Shut. Up. You're not intimidating. You're 5'7, 150 lbs. I think Katie might be able to take you. Besides, the only reason anyone wants to interview you now is to watch you melt down and jump on a couch. I'm surprised you haven't started paying two guys to carry a couch around with you wherever you go just so you have something to jump on when anyone asks you a questiong.
Finally, seriously, your a pansy. Did I mention that? If you were that "mad" why didn't you do something about it? Would Russell Crowe have stood there and done nothing? Doubtful. He probably would have fed the guy his prank mic and laughed about it on Letterman the next day. Take notes, really.
On another note, I finally feel human today after taking a day and a half to recover from my hangover due to Saturday nights' debacle. It's nice to be able to taste food again, let me just state that for the record.
Two other things 14 Days until Las Vegas. I need a name for this trip, a little help please?
Wedding Carousel 2005 continues this weekend, with an episode in Columbus. Open Bar anyone? Sold. Hopefully the trip will include a stop at Frog Bear Wild Boar Bar.
First of all, Tom, really, it was WATER. I'm pretty sure that you, in all your metro-sexualness, have taken a shower, or come into contact with water before. It's a pretty natural part of our society. However, perhaps because of your Scientology/cult background, you can only accept water that has been 'blessed' by L Ron Hubbard or something.
Secondly, could you have acted like any more of a pansy about it? You called the guy a jerk like 4 times and said something to the effect of "I'm standing here answering your questions, and you do something like that" Tom. Shut. Up. You're not intimidating. You're 5'7, 150 lbs. I think Katie might be able to take you. Besides, the only reason anyone wants to interview you now is to watch you melt down and jump on a couch. I'm surprised you haven't started paying two guys to carry a couch around with you wherever you go just so you have something to jump on when anyone asks you a questiong.
Finally, seriously, your a pansy. Did I mention that? If you were that "mad" why didn't you do something about it? Would Russell Crowe have stood there and done nothing? Doubtful. He probably would have fed the guy his prank mic and laughed about it on Letterman the next day. Take notes, really.
On another note, I finally feel human today after taking a day and a half to recover from my hangover due to Saturday nights' debacle. It's nice to be able to taste food again, let me just state that for the record.
Two other things 14 Days until Las Vegas. I need a name for this trip, a little help please?
Wedding Carousel 2005 continues this weekend, with an episode in Columbus. Open Bar anyone? Sold. Hopefully the trip will include a stop at Frog Bear Wild Boar Bar.
Monday, June 20, 2005
Weekend Review, and Stuff Like That
I'm too lethargic to type in a narrative form this morning, so this is getting done in convienent, memo/letter style. You know like Sarah always does, except hers are funny and interesting.
To the Woodford Girls
Steph: Thanks for dragging me out of Tequila Ranch. I was barely functioning at that point, completely incoherent, and probably would have tried to walk back to Lakewood from downtown, had you not hauled me out of there
Diane: I'm apologizing, b/c I'm sure at some point, I said something innappropriate to you while we were sitting in the living room once we got back to your house. That or I woke up your neighbor yelling at my broken cell phone.
Kim: I'm pretty sure that I stole the recliner from you when you were already sitting in it. I tried to just sit on the arm of it, but in my drunkeness, balancing wasn't something that was going to work either. Besides, you're bed was 20 feet away, so you totally had a place to sleep, that chair had my name all over it, if I could have spelled it at that point.....
Sarah: (auxiliary Woodford girl): Thanks for babysitting me in the cab so I didn't puke, even though you were also a mess. You rock.
To Other Offended Parties
Matt: Thank you for babysitting me while I was fighting my cell phone at Tequila Ranch, including holding my beer while I was trying to fix the phone so that I didn't spill MORE of it. I probably yelled at you too, I'm sorry.
Aaron: You were supposed to crash at my house Saturday night, and I don't know if I lost you, or vice versa, but we ended up seperated. Fortunately another friend was kind enough to take you in.
Drew: I always, always yell at you when I'm drunk. I probably did it again. You should be used to it by now. Toughen up.
My Entire Touch Football Team: I really sucked on Saturday. I mean, big time. I owe all of you a much better performance than that Steve Bellisari-ish debacle.
Tequila Ranch: How/why did you serve me alcoholon Saturday? You had no right to. I don't even remember walking up to the bar to place the offending order. You should probably have your liquor liscence revoked, but I won't reccommend that b/c you have really good food.
My Cell Phone: F-off. Seriously. How many times can you really stop working? I had to go buy a new one on Sunday thanks to you. Awesome. Word to the wise- refurbished phone=crap.
Well, hopefully that covers it, and if not, I'm sorry to everyone else who happened to have to cross my path on Saturday night. Really, to punish myself, I will take the traveling circus that is myself to Columbus this Saturday, and inflict this on the residents of that fair city.
To the Woodford Girls
Steph: Thanks for dragging me out of Tequila Ranch. I was barely functioning at that point, completely incoherent, and probably would have tried to walk back to Lakewood from downtown, had you not hauled me out of there
Diane: I'm apologizing, b/c I'm sure at some point, I said something innappropriate to you while we were sitting in the living room once we got back to your house. That or I woke up your neighbor yelling at my broken cell phone.
Kim: I'm pretty sure that I stole the recliner from you when you were already sitting in it. I tried to just sit on the arm of it, but in my drunkeness, balancing wasn't something that was going to work either. Besides, you're bed was 20 feet away, so you totally had a place to sleep, that chair had my name all over it, if I could have spelled it at that point.....
Sarah: (auxiliary Woodford girl): Thanks for babysitting me in the cab so I didn't puke, even though you were also a mess. You rock.
To Other Offended Parties
Matt: Thank you for babysitting me while I was fighting my cell phone at Tequila Ranch, including holding my beer while I was trying to fix the phone so that I didn't spill MORE of it. I probably yelled at you too, I'm sorry.
Aaron: You were supposed to crash at my house Saturday night, and I don't know if I lost you, or vice versa, but we ended up seperated. Fortunately another friend was kind enough to take you in.
Drew: I always, always yell at you when I'm drunk. I probably did it again. You should be used to it by now. Toughen up.
My Entire Touch Football Team: I really sucked on Saturday. I mean, big time. I owe all of you a much better performance than that Steve Bellisari-ish debacle.
Tequila Ranch: How/why did you serve me alcoholon Saturday? You had no right to. I don't even remember walking up to the bar to place the offending order. You should probably have your liquor liscence revoked, but I won't reccommend that b/c you have really good food.
My Cell Phone: F-off. Seriously. How many times can you really stop working? I had to go buy a new one on Sunday thanks to you. Awesome. Word to the wise- refurbished phone=crap.
Well, hopefully that covers it, and if not, I'm sorry to everyone else who happened to have to cross my path on Saturday night. Really, to punish myself, I will take the traveling circus that is myself to Columbus this Saturday, and inflict this on the residents of that fair city.
Friday, June 17, 2005
Help Wanted
Well, in light of the response that I got to this post from Wednesday, it's become obvious that I need to bring on some staff to help me with my personal affairs. Hey, if Van Wilder can have an assistant and Toren can have her little Sidekick, then I think I can open up a position for a screener.
What is this you ask?
Simple, as Sarah and Diane pointed out, I simply need someone to help ensure that I'm no longer dating the moderately insane, the unattractive, or the relatively uninteresting. Simply put, the screener must be able to do quick, accurate evaluations of members of the female gender to ensure their ability to not drive me insane, and/or not be completely shunned by my friends for being retarded (MJ).
So what qualifications am I looing for for this position? Simple
1) You must be female. If you're a guy, you're just a wingman, and potentially out for your own agenda. That just won't work.
2) You must be reasonably attractive, but not so much that you intimidate the other girls. I don't want to roll around any of the bars with an unattractive girl. Seriously.
3) You must be reasonably unselfish, remember, you're working for me here. We're out for my social agenda here, not yours.
Interested? I thought so. I expect to receive a lot of applications, considering that the primary responsibility will be to hang out and go out on weekends with me. Hurry, apply now!
What is this you ask?
Simple, as Sarah and Diane pointed out, I simply need someone to help ensure that I'm no longer dating the moderately insane, the unattractive, or the relatively uninteresting. Simply put, the screener must be able to do quick, accurate evaluations of members of the female gender to ensure their ability to not drive me insane, and/or not be completely shunned by my friends for being retarded (MJ).
So what qualifications am I looing for for this position? Simple
1) You must be female. If you're a guy, you're just a wingman, and potentially out for your own agenda. That just won't work.
2) You must be reasonably attractive, but not so much that you intimidate the other girls. I don't want to roll around any of the bars with an unattractive girl. Seriously.
3) You must be reasonably unselfish, remember, you're working for me here. We're out for my social agenda here, not yours.
Interested? I thought so. I expect to receive a lot of applications, considering that the primary responsibility will be to hang out and go out on weekends with me. Hurry, apply now!
Thursday, June 16, 2005
I Should Have Stayed In Bed
I really should have figured it was going to be a bad day.
I left for work at the normal time this morning, only to arrive 20 minutes late b/c some idiot stalled in the center lane on the highway, backing traffic up about, oh, 5 miles. Nice work asshole.
Listen, if you want to have a crappy, unreliable car, or you are forced to by your economic situtaion, that's fine, I respect that, it's not easy for everyone. But you know what? Keep it on the side roads, not the highway. You don't need to hold up half of a damn city for this, do you?
After that, assorted garbage went down the tubes at work, mostly things that I am hesitant to discuss, based on the fact that I read a story about employers firing people for posting negative things about their employers on their own personal blogs. Let's just say that a few things happened that directly affected me today, that I can't say most would think to be fair, and leave it at that.
Sadly, this is all I can post right now with my energy level being what it is. I saw Batman Begins tonight, and it was spectacular. I mean, really a good film, the best of the 5 Batman movies if you ask me. It was much darker, and much less cartoonish than the other ones. Katie Holmes wasn't even that bad, but, sadly, she's decided that she'd like to committ a massive career suicide via Tom "Crazy Cult Leader" Cruise. Seriously, what would Dawson say?
I left for work at the normal time this morning, only to arrive 20 minutes late b/c some idiot stalled in the center lane on the highway, backing traffic up about, oh, 5 miles. Nice work asshole.
Listen, if you want to have a crappy, unreliable car, or you are forced to by your economic situtaion, that's fine, I respect that, it's not easy for everyone. But you know what? Keep it on the side roads, not the highway. You don't need to hold up half of a damn city for this, do you?
After that, assorted garbage went down the tubes at work, mostly things that I am hesitant to discuss, based on the fact that I read a story about employers firing people for posting negative things about their employers on their own personal blogs. Let's just say that a few things happened that directly affected me today, that I can't say most would think to be fair, and leave it at that.
Sadly, this is all I can post right now with my energy level being what it is. I saw Batman Begins tonight, and it was spectacular. I mean, really a good film, the best of the 5 Batman movies if you ask me. It was much darker, and much less cartoonish than the other ones. Katie Holmes wasn't even that bad, but, sadly, she's decided that she'd like to committ a massive career suicide via Tom "Crazy Cult Leader" Cruise. Seriously, what would Dawson say?
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
Jesus Walks!
Really, the cops claim they don't know what was going on w/ Florida State QB Wyatt Sexton when they found him face down in the street, claiming he was 'God' or, 'the Son of God'. Really?
He went to a Dave Matthews Band show, got found face down in the street, and referred to himself as 'God'. Who wants to play-Guess the Narcotic? Seriously- Normal healthy young adults don't act like this. I'm putting my money on LSD, based on the fact that if he was drunk they would have just given him public intox and been done with it.
The best part? They didn't even arrest him!! Surprise! This happened in Tallahassee, the home of Florida State University. Lucky for him he wasn't in Miami....
He went to a Dave Matthews Band show, got found face down in the street, and referred to himself as 'God'. Who wants to play-Guess the Narcotic? Seriously- Normal healthy young adults don't act like this. I'm putting my money on LSD, based on the fact that if he was drunk they would have just given him public intox and been done with it.
The best part? They didn't even arrest him!! Surprise! This happened in Tallahassee, the home of Florida State University. Lucky for him he wasn't in Miami....
There's Comedy, Then there's dating in your mid-20s
So here's a fun story for you for today.
Two weekends ago, on a Saturday night, I was at the bar with a couple of the guys that I normally hang out with. Actually, it was a couple of different bars, but who's counting. Anyway, there was this girl that was at both bars, we talked at both places, and exchanged numbers. She's a little bit young, but she was relatively interesting, and I figured, why not, you never know.
We played phone tag a couple of times over the last week, and even had plans to go out on Sunday. This is where the fun happens. We exchange text messages and calls on Sunday. The last time I talked to her on Sunday she asked if we could reschedule. Since I wanted to go play basketball and hop in the pool that night, I gladly rescheduled with her, she even claimed to feel bad, and said that we definitely would get together on Tuesday. This was after she apoogzied for backing out. Of course Tuesday was yesterday. This is the fun part.
I sent her a text, asking what time she wanted to meet up.
I get one back from her about 20 minutes ago that says:
"I'll feel bad if I don't call him back."
What? Now obviously, this wasn't intended for me. It may have been about me, but definitely not me.
This was my response text: "You'll feel bad if you don't call who back?"
Her text: "What?"
Me: "You sent me a text that said 'I'll feel bad if I don't call him back', I'm guessing you meant to send that to your friend, not me, guess you hit the wrong key on your phone. Later.
I didn't get a response after that...not sure why.... (sarcasm)
So I took what I probably would have spent on going to a movie and drinks, bought a bottle of Captain, and chilled out on my porch and listened to the Tribe game. It was a much better night, I can see Mr. and Mrs. Smith anytime.
Fortunately, I was only going to go to fulfill the committment, I didn't really have much interest in this girl anyways, so I guess it worked out for everyone.
Two weekends ago, on a Saturday night, I was at the bar with a couple of the guys that I normally hang out with. Actually, it was a couple of different bars, but who's counting. Anyway, there was this girl that was at both bars, we talked at both places, and exchanged numbers. She's a little bit young, but she was relatively interesting, and I figured, why not, you never know.
We played phone tag a couple of times over the last week, and even had plans to go out on Sunday. This is where the fun happens. We exchange text messages and calls on Sunday. The last time I talked to her on Sunday she asked if we could reschedule. Since I wanted to go play basketball and hop in the pool that night, I gladly rescheduled with her, she even claimed to feel bad, and said that we definitely would get together on Tuesday. This was after she apoogzied for backing out. Of course Tuesday was yesterday. This is the fun part.
I sent her a text, asking what time she wanted to meet up.
I get one back from her about 20 minutes ago that says:
"I'll feel bad if I don't call him back."
What? Now obviously, this wasn't intended for me. It may have been about me, but definitely not me.
This was my response text: "You'll feel bad if you don't call who back?"
Her text: "What?"
Me: "You sent me a text that said 'I'll feel bad if I don't call him back', I'm guessing you meant to send that to your friend, not me, guess you hit the wrong key on your phone. Later.
I didn't get a response after that...not sure why.... (sarcasm)
So I took what I probably would have spent on going to a movie and drinks, bought a bottle of Captain, and chilled out on my porch and listened to the Tribe game. It was a much better night, I can see Mr. and Mrs. Smith anytime.
Fortunately, I was only going to go to fulfill the committment, I didn't really have much interest in this girl anyways, so I guess it worked out for everyone.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
No, Really.....
Well kids, the Apocalypse is upon us. Katie Holmes is converting to Scientology.
This is troubling to me for a number of reasons.
1) Katie is obviously in love with a gay man
2) I've heard of people converting to religions when they get married, but usually, they're some kind of a real religion.
3) Katie, you're not marrying 'Maverick'. Kenny Loggins is not coming to play at your wedding, and you won't fly off into the sunset in an F-14.
4) Again, even if he is famous-he's divorced twice already for a reason. He's F-ing crazy. Really, were you watching that debacle on Oprah? or not?
This is troubling to me for a number of reasons.
1) Katie is obviously in love with a gay man
2) I've heard of people converting to religions when they get married, but usually, they're some kind of a real religion.
3) Katie, you're not marrying 'Maverick'. Kenny Loggins is not coming to play at your wedding, and you won't fly off into the sunset in an F-14.
4) Again, even if he is famous-he's divorced twice already for a reason. He's F-ing crazy. Really, were you watching that debacle on Oprah? or not?
Monday, June 13, 2005
Keyword Joyness-
To the unfortunate Interenetter that was searching for
hit me baby one more time haddaway gay
I apologize, for there is nothing like that going on around here. I don't even think he is gay.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
hit me baby one more time haddaway gay
I apologize, for there is nothing like that going on around here. I don't even think he is gay.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Who Turned my Clock Ahead??
Really, the warmer it gets outside, the more I feel like I've got some kind of a gnome or something that sneaks into my room at night, kicks me in the back (b/c it's killing me right now), and then turns my clock ahead 3 hours in the middle of the night, thereby robbing me of precious, precious sleep. So if you see me tonight, and I look like a freaking zombie, that's why.
Also, I need to start shopping for Vegas. Mostly stupid stuff, like travel size bathroom type things, some clothes, maybe a new pair of sunglasses, and definitely, definitely a straw hat.
Along with that, I need to find a book or two to take for when I'm laying around by the pool, b/c I know I'll do that at least one or two days. I know, I'm a dork. But if anyone has any suggestions about what would be worth picking up to read, fill me in.
One other thing: To the people at Tuition Reimbursement at my company: You are retarded. I put my course approval form in 6 months ago, and now you're saying you don't have it? I want my 4 grand, and I want it NOW. Keeping things on file is your JOB. That's all you have to do, keep it on file, take the grades, record them, and PAY ME BACK. This may or may not be the most irritating thing in the world right now. At least until I go to get fitted for tuxedos for the weddings tonight, and find out that I'm getting fatter. That will be sweet too.
Also, I need to start shopping for Vegas. Mostly stupid stuff, like travel size bathroom type things, some clothes, maybe a new pair of sunglasses, and definitely, definitely a straw hat.
Along with that, I need to find a book or two to take for when I'm laying around by the pool, b/c I know I'll do that at least one or two days. I know, I'm a dork. But if anyone has any suggestions about what would be worth picking up to read, fill me in.
One other thing: To the people at Tuition Reimbursement at my company: You are retarded. I put my course approval form in 6 months ago, and now you're saying you don't have it? I want my 4 grand, and I want it NOW. Keeping things on file is your JOB. That's all you have to do, keep it on file, take the grades, record them, and PAY ME BACK. This may or may not be the most irritating thing in the world right now. At least until I go to get fitted for tuxedos for the weddings tonight, and find out that I'm getting fatter. That will be sweet too.
Friday, June 10, 2005
What you Talkin' About, Willis?
I couldn't resist.
VH1 Named Gary Coleman as it's Number One child star of all time last week.
Sadly, Todd Bridges didn't crack the top ten. Apparently that whole crack smoking thing really hurt him.
Apparently, the list is 100 names long...and I swear, if Jaleel White isn't in the top 25..heads will roll...heads will roll
VH1 Named Gary Coleman as it's Number One child star of all time last week.
Sadly, Todd Bridges didn't crack the top ten. Apparently that whole crack smoking thing really hurt him.
Apparently, the list is 100 names long...and I swear, if Jaleel White isn't in the top 25..heads will roll...heads will roll
Again, Nothing, but at Least its Friday
I'll be starting a new feature here, that will be of NO interest to anyone reading. The official Vegas countdown. Why? Because I have nothing else to look forward to between now and Vegas, unless you count the continuation of Wedding Carousel 2005, which continues this weekend in downtown Cleveland. Hopefully I won't pass out in the cab on the way home from the reception, but the odds on this happening are pretty high based on some of the people that will be at this thing, and they're ability to be total enablers (Steph).
I totally missed "Hit Me Baby One More Time" Last night, but it's on TiVo so I'm sure I'll get to it this weekend, but it looks like Sarah already covered it better than I ever could, so I might not have much to say, other than some comment on Vanilla Ice winning, which to me is the most amazing thing ever.
Also, one item of note, as much as I hate working, I heart coming to work on Fridays because there are about 8 people in my office and it's so much more laid back. It's gotten to the point where I can actually listen to the radio on the internet (Launchcast, thank you for having a good alternative station with no commercials. Amazing) and we actually get things done.
By the way- Buttons on the cuffs of my shirt: Why do you pop off of my shirt just because I tugged on the cuff to pull it back down my wrist a little bit. I understand that I'm not the classiest person in the world, but I prefer not to walk around wearing a shirt that looks like it was purchased at a garage sale. Anyone know how to sew? Look me up...seriously.....
I totally missed "Hit Me Baby One More Time" Last night, but it's on TiVo so I'm sure I'll get to it this weekend, but it looks like Sarah already covered it better than I ever could, so I might not have much to say, other than some comment on Vanilla Ice winning, which to me is the most amazing thing ever.
Also, one item of note, as much as I hate working, I heart coming to work on Fridays because there are about 8 people in my office and it's so much more laid back. It's gotten to the point where I can actually listen to the radio on the internet (Launchcast, thank you for having a good alternative station with no commercials. Amazing) and we actually get things done.
By the way- Buttons on the cuffs of my shirt: Why do you pop off of my shirt just because I tugged on the cuff to pull it back down my wrist a little bit. I understand that I'm not the classiest person in the world, but I prefer not to walk around wearing a shirt that looks like it was purchased at a garage sale. Anyone know how to sew? Look me up...seriously.....
Thursday, June 09, 2005
What I'd be doing right now if I was 17 again....
It's amazing how getting older makes you realize how much easier your life was when you were in high school. I realized this as I was slogging through downtown traffic at 5:45 the other day, when it was 90 degrees out, and I had been shackled to a desk for most of the afternoon.
I remember when I was in high school, specifically after my senior year. That summer, I was still living at home (obviously), had a car, and lived 10 minutes from the beach. Between that, and managing to structure two jobs around my afternoons at said beach, and I had it made, to say the least. The two jobs at the time you may ask? Working for my father doing deliveries and working as a beer vendor at the minor league stadium in the previously mentioned beautiful town of Erie, PA. This was without a doubt the best job I've ever had (beer vending, not working for my father), and I'll gladly go into more detail about it at another time, I suppose.
Anyway, I was thinking about it, and I realized that life was much better when my typical summer day went something like this:
7:00 am Have my mother wake me up to tell me it was time to drive to my father's office. Curse my mother under my breath for waking me up that early during summer break. Hell yes it was her fault I was out till 1 am the night before.
8:00 am Arrive at my father's place of business. Curse him for being wide awake and going 100 miles per hour at 8 in the morning
8am-12pm Perform miscellaneous duties for my father, most of which included delivering cases to dentists, cleaning up around his office, and other menial duties. Primarily, I would cruise around Erie, windows down in the delivery car, listening to Pearl Jam, 311, Weezer, and the like on the delivery cars' tape deck
12:15 pm Pester my father that it was time for me to leave until he would get fed up and throw me out of the office. Have my father curse me and my terrible work ethic, then head for the beach.
1:00 pm Arrive at the beach, spend several hours playing volleyball, talking to friends, and pretending that I'm cool.
4:30 pm Head home for a free dinner, shower, etc. If it's a game night, head to the game to work another relatively easy job, of which I spent most of the time talking to friends and catering to the needs of drunks (funny how the two put together is my social life now)
If that's not an easy day, I don't know what is.......
I remember when I was in high school, specifically after my senior year. That summer, I was still living at home (obviously), had a car, and lived 10 minutes from the beach. Between that, and managing to structure two jobs around my afternoons at said beach, and I had it made, to say the least. The two jobs at the time you may ask? Working for my father doing deliveries and working as a beer vendor at the minor league stadium in the previously mentioned beautiful town of Erie, PA. This was without a doubt the best job I've ever had (beer vending, not working for my father), and I'll gladly go into more detail about it at another time, I suppose.
Anyway, I was thinking about it, and I realized that life was much better when my typical summer day went something like this:
7:00 am Have my mother wake me up to tell me it was time to drive to my father's office. Curse my mother under my breath for waking me up that early during summer break. Hell yes it was her fault I was out till 1 am the night before.
8:00 am Arrive at my father's place of business. Curse him for being wide awake and going 100 miles per hour at 8 in the morning
8am-12pm Perform miscellaneous duties for my father, most of which included delivering cases to dentists, cleaning up around his office, and other menial duties. Primarily, I would cruise around Erie, windows down in the delivery car, listening to Pearl Jam, 311, Weezer, and the like on the delivery cars' tape deck
12:15 pm Pester my father that it was time for me to leave until he would get fed up and throw me out of the office. Have my father curse me and my terrible work ethic, then head for the beach.
1:00 pm Arrive at the beach, spend several hours playing volleyball, talking to friends, and pretending that I'm cool.
4:30 pm Head home for a free dinner, shower, etc. If it's a game night, head to the game to work another relatively easy job, of which I spent most of the time talking to friends and catering to the needs of drunks (funny how the two put together is my social life now)
If that's not an easy day, I don't know what is.......
Hit Me Baby One More Time- Week 2
The lineup for tonights' show, with the songs they are performing, goes as such:
Tommy Tutone
867-5309/ All The Small Things (Blink 182)
The Knack
My Sharona/ Are you Gonna Be My Girl (Jet)
Vanilla Ice
Ice Ice Baby/ Survivor (Destiny's Child)
The Motels
Only the Lonely / Don't Know Why (Norah Jones)
Haddaway
What is Love?/ Toxic (Britney)
This has beautiful trainwreck written all over it....don't forget to put in your votes for our little game...
Tommy Tutone
867-5309/ All The Small Things (Blink 182)
The Knack
My Sharona/ Are you Gonna Be My Girl (Jet)
Vanilla Ice
Ice Ice Baby/ Survivor (Destiny's Child)
The Motels
Only the Lonely / Don't Know Why (Norah Jones)
Haddaway
What is Love?/ Toxic (Britney)
This has beautiful trainwreck written all over it....don't forget to put in your votes for our little game...
Wednesday, June 08, 2005
Mostly Something About Nothing....
Now, not that I'm complaining or anything, but how did Cleveland go from "mid spring 50-60 degrees out" weather to "holy crap it's summer and it's 95 out" in the span of a few days? Granted I'm not too worried about it thanks to the glorious advent of A/C in my office, car, and home. Honestly, how people survived before us without air conditioning is beyond me. I don't care what anyone says about how spoiled my generation is....if not wanting to sweat through my sheets, stick to my car's leather interior, or smell like a stable from sweating for 53 straight hours is "spoiled" then sign me up for being a spoiled little bitch.
I went to a comedy club last night with a few of my friends, and it was a pretty good show. All 3 of the guys were pretty entertaining, and of course there were the standard number of Parma, OH jokes that we seem to get from at least one comedian each time they come through here. I don't get it. Is Parma that well known of a place that people who live in different states know of it, and know to mock it? Not that Parma is nice, or clean, or non-racist, but I'm just wondering.
The headliner was especially hilarious, as he spent a good part of his act talking about two topics of which I am eerily familiar with: drinking and hangovers. He had this especially funny exchange with himself and a hangover that I have to share.
Guy: Come on, I have shit to do today
Hangover: Correction. You HAD shit to do. Remember the 12 kamikazes at the bar last night? Welcome to my world.
Also, Hit Me Baby One More Time is on tomorrow night, same three categories from last week stand:
Most Popular
Worst Aged
Worst Cover
This weeks artists are priceless as well:
Vanilla Ice
Tommy Tutone
Haddaway
The Knack
The Motels
Eh....this one's not going to be easy....
I'm defnitely voting for Haddaway to win, The Motels as the band that aged the worst, and Vanilla Ice to do the worst cover...ever.....
If anyone has any suggestions for other categories, please let me know....just post it in comments
I went to a comedy club last night with a few of my friends, and it was a pretty good show. All 3 of the guys were pretty entertaining, and of course there were the standard number of Parma, OH jokes that we seem to get from at least one comedian each time they come through here. I don't get it. Is Parma that well known of a place that people who live in different states know of it, and know to mock it? Not that Parma is nice, or clean, or non-racist, but I'm just wondering.
The headliner was especially hilarious, as he spent a good part of his act talking about two topics of which I am eerily familiar with: drinking and hangovers. He had this especially funny exchange with himself and a hangover that I have to share.
Guy: Come on, I have shit to do today
Hangover: Correction. You HAD shit to do. Remember the 12 kamikazes at the bar last night? Welcome to my world.
Also, Hit Me Baby One More Time is on tomorrow night, same three categories from last week stand:
Most Popular
Worst Aged
Worst Cover
This weeks artists are priceless as well:
Vanilla Ice
Tommy Tutone
Haddaway
The Knack
The Motels
Eh....this one's not going to be easy....
I'm defnitely voting for Haddaway to win, The Motels as the band that aged the worst, and Vanilla Ice to do the worst cover...ever.....
If anyone has any suggestions for other categories, please let me know....just post it in comments
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
Things I Like More Than Work
Shopping on UrbanOutfitters.com
Reading ESPN.com
Making plans for tonight
Drinking Grape Propel Fitness Water (my new obsession, I'm so gay)
Shopping for straw hats for my Vegas trip on Ebay
Now, those are just the good things.
Other things that I would enjoy more than my job....
Being punched in the stomach
Watching Chaotic over and over and over
Tearing ligaments in my foot (sorry Sarah)
Attending Tom and Katie's wedding (granted this would be high comedy, but painful, because Scientology is lame)
Drinking warm beer
Paper Cuts under my fingernails
Swallowing broken glass....
You get the idea....
Reading ESPN.com
Making plans for tonight
Drinking Grape Propel Fitness Water (my new obsession, I'm so gay)
Shopping for straw hats for my Vegas trip on Ebay
Now, those are just the good things.
Other things that I would enjoy more than my job....
Being punched in the stomach
Watching Chaotic over and over and over
Tearing ligaments in my foot (sorry Sarah)
Attending Tom and Katie's wedding (granted this would be high comedy, but painful, because Scientology is lame)
Drinking warm beer
Paper Cuts under my fingernails
Swallowing broken glass....
You get the idea....
Beautiful Destin, Florida
I heard a great story on the radio this morning. Apparently, over Memorial Day Weekend, in the wonderful Gulf Coast town of Destin, FL, a homeless man set up a chair in front of a public parking lot, made himself a sign, and started charging everyone 5$ to park there. By the time the cops caught up with him, he was up 275$, which is quite a bit to me, let alone to a homeless guy.
I bring this up only b/c I realize that after hearing the words "Destin, Florida" that I could totally use a vacation. That, and for anyone looking to go on vacation, I fully advocate Destin, FL as a vacation destination. That is if you don't mind driving through the entire state of Alabama on the way down. That part is not so good. To put it in perspective, when we were driving back through Alabama on the way back up, the soundtrack for the entire 6 hours could have been the Sanford and Son theme song. Really, I've never seen so many pickup trucks packed full with piles and piles of assorted crap. They were like traveling garage sales.
I bring this up only b/c I realize that after hearing the words "Destin, Florida" that I could totally use a vacation. That, and for anyone looking to go on vacation, I fully advocate Destin, FL as a vacation destination. That is if you don't mind driving through the entire state of Alabama on the way down. That part is not so good. To put it in perspective, when we were driving back through Alabama on the way back up, the soundtrack for the entire 6 hours could have been the Sanford and Son theme song. Really, I've never seen so many pickup trucks packed full with piles and piles of assorted crap. They were like traveling garage sales.
Monday, June 06, 2005
What????
So I'm doing my daily duty of persuing the internet, and I of course wanted to check the Hit Me Baby One More Time website for a preview of this weeks' aging C-list trainwrecks, I mean, vintage performers. And I come across this. That's right, Vanilla Ice is doing a cover of a Destinys Child song. I'm not even sure if my TiVo can handle the number of times I'm going to rewatch this.
What's even more disturbing is that there is a link on there to "Buy the Best of Vanilla Ice".
Sorry, I don't buy singles anymore.....
What's even more disturbing is that there is a link on there to "Buy the Best of Vanilla Ice".
Sorry, I don't buy singles anymore.....
And you are......?
Couple of quick things from this weekend, I'm actually kind of busy this morning, but wanted to share this with you anyways....
Funny story from Saturday, even though I know I mentioned this to a few people I saw in person on Sunday. A friends fiance, who works at a restaurant near my house, saw MJ on Saturday night when she was working. Apparently she came in (with some guy), and completely refused to acknowledge my friend. Trust me, it's not like she hadn't met her at least 10 times while we were dating, so classy move on her part. Which leads me to this mini letter....
MJ,
Really, I know that you think you are fabulous, and the most important person on the planet, we've covered that. However, the fact that you show your face in public with a guy that was described to me like this "he sort of looked like you, but shorter, and less good looking" makes me figure that he must make more money than me, because I can say with some certainty that he probably doesn't have a better personality than me. That being said, seriously, get off your high horse and say hello to somebody you've met before. Just because you didn't want to date me, doesn't mean you have to be the opposite of polite to other people who you've met. Again, another display of what a truly classy individual you are.
PS: You're officially a running joke amongst my friends, which is some kind of a record, b/c it's been going longer than we dated at this point. Seriously? Mojo-fest? What are you? 12? Good luck throwing that with the -$300 in your checking account.
((For the record, I'm not bitter, not at all......))
There, that's better, now I can focus my disgust at something more current, like work. Seriously, am I the only one that works for a company that can't seem to get anything straight? Really, you call it being flexible and adaptive in a changing environment, I call it not being able to plan and having to make a haphazard decision at the last minute and hoping that it works. Really, words can't describe my level of annoyance right now, so I'm not even going to bother to try.
Also, just a note, if I called, or sent a text, to offend anyone in anyway on Saturday night, don't blame me. Blame Pug Mahoney's and 75 cent drafts and 2 dollar shots. I can't be expected to act responsibly at that point.
Sorry, this is a totally random post, but I know that the 4 of you reading this know that I'm totally random to begin with, so it's totally fine. I'll give something funnier later, hopefully.....
Funny story from Saturday, even though I know I mentioned this to a few people I saw in person on Sunday. A friends fiance, who works at a restaurant near my house, saw MJ on Saturday night when she was working. Apparently she came in (with some guy), and completely refused to acknowledge my friend. Trust me, it's not like she hadn't met her at least 10 times while we were dating, so classy move on her part. Which leads me to this mini letter....
MJ,
Really, I know that you think you are fabulous, and the most important person on the planet, we've covered that. However, the fact that you show your face in public with a guy that was described to me like this "he sort of looked like you, but shorter, and less good looking" makes me figure that he must make more money than me, because I can say with some certainty that he probably doesn't have a better personality than me. That being said, seriously, get off your high horse and say hello to somebody you've met before. Just because you didn't want to date me, doesn't mean you have to be the opposite of polite to other people who you've met. Again, another display of what a truly classy individual you are.
PS: You're officially a running joke amongst my friends, which is some kind of a record, b/c it's been going longer than we dated at this point. Seriously? Mojo-fest? What are you? 12? Good luck throwing that with the -$300 in your checking account.
((For the record, I'm not bitter, not at all......))
There, that's better, now I can focus my disgust at something more current, like work. Seriously, am I the only one that works for a company that can't seem to get anything straight? Really, you call it being flexible and adaptive in a changing environment, I call it not being able to plan and having to make a haphazard decision at the last minute and hoping that it works. Really, words can't describe my level of annoyance right now, so I'm not even going to bother to try.
Also, just a note, if I called, or sent a text, to offend anyone in anyway on Saturday night, don't blame me. Blame Pug Mahoney's and 75 cent drafts and 2 dollar shots. I can't be expected to act responsibly at that point.
Sorry, this is a totally random post, but I know that the 4 of you reading this know that I'm totally random to begin with, so it's totally fine. I'll give something funnier later, hopefully.....
Friday, June 03, 2005
Books? What are Those?
Yay, I got tagged to talk about books by Kara. Since we all know how much I love to read,
I can't promise that this is going to be any good, or carry any amount of depth. Hell, let's see what I can do
What is the total number of books I have owned?
What? I have no idea, probably a lot if you count text books from college and things like that. My parents own way more books than I do, or at least they did until they purged them before their last move. I would estimate that between all my old childhood books, text books, and the occassional book that I've picked up for some reason or another, I probably own 100-150 books or so. I guess I never really thought about it.
Last Book I Bought:
Sadly, the last book I bought was a text book for my Global Marketing MBA class. I can't say that I buy a lot of books to read for pleasure, I usually content myself with getting books at the library (i know, what am I? Homeless?) or borrowing them from friends.
Last Book I Read:
A Fistfull of Rain by Greg Rucka. He's a fiction writer, mostly mystery/thriller type books. Those have always been my favorite type of thing to read. It's about a guitarist in a fictional rock band that has just hit the big time, who's having major alcohol problems, massive family issues, and oh right, somebody is stalking her. Pretty interesting stuff. I highly reccommend any of his books.
5 Books that Mean A Lot to Me
1) Charlie and The Chocolate Factory: This was one of the first books that I read, on my own, from cover to cover. I'm sure I'll see the movie based on it that's coming out this summer, but I don't think any film could ever do this goofy book justice.
2) Charlotte's Web: The absolute first book that I read from cover to cover, and for some reason, I'm sure I'm not the only one. I think if you lived in the suburbs, and went to public schools, it was pretty much a sure thing you were reading this.
3) To Kill A Mockingbird: The first book of my young adult life that I can remember reading, adn probably the only book after the 7th grade that I was required to read that I actually did so without the aid of Cliff's Notes or anything like that. An absolutely deep, and amazing piece of writing.
4) False Start: This is the book that was written last year about the Cleveland Browns, and everything that has gone wrong or been done wrong involving the franchise since they came back into the league in 1999.
5) The Iowa Baseball Confederacy: Just a totally random fictional baseball book that takes place back and forth between present time and the early 1900's. For some reason I remember reading it one summer while I was in college. It's by the same guy that wrote the book that became Field of Dreams, believe it or not. It's just one of those well written things that makes you think.....
I can't promise that this is going to be any good, or carry any amount of depth. Hell, let's see what I can do
What is the total number of books I have owned?
What? I have no idea, probably a lot if you count text books from college and things like that. My parents own way more books than I do, or at least they did until they purged them before their last move. I would estimate that between all my old childhood books, text books, and the occassional book that I've picked up for some reason or another, I probably own 100-150 books or so. I guess I never really thought about it.
Last Book I Bought:
Sadly, the last book I bought was a text book for my Global Marketing MBA class. I can't say that I buy a lot of books to read for pleasure, I usually content myself with getting books at the library (i know, what am I? Homeless?) or borrowing them from friends.
Last Book I Read:
A Fistfull of Rain by Greg Rucka. He's a fiction writer, mostly mystery/thriller type books. Those have always been my favorite type of thing to read. It's about a guitarist in a fictional rock band that has just hit the big time, who's having major alcohol problems, massive family issues, and oh right, somebody is stalking her. Pretty interesting stuff. I highly reccommend any of his books.
5 Books that Mean A Lot to Me
1) Charlie and The Chocolate Factory: This was one of the first books that I read, on my own, from cover to cover. I'm sure I'll see the movie based on it that's coming out this summer, but I don't think any film could ever do this goofy book justice.
2) Charlotte's Web: The absolute first book that I read from cover to cover, and for some reason, I'm sure I'm not the only one. I think if you lived in the suburbs, and went to public schools, it was pretty much a sure thing you were reading this.
3) To Kill A Mockingbird: The first book of my young adult life that I can remember reading, adn probably the only book after the 7th grade that I was required to read that I actually did so without the aid of Cliff's Notes or anything like that. An absolutely deep, and amazing piece of writing.
4) False Start: This is the book that was written last year about the Cleveland Browns, and everything that has gone wrong or been done wrong involving the franchise since they came back into the league in 1999.
5) The Iowa Baseball Confederacy: Just a totally random fictional baseball book that takes place back and forth between present time and the early 1900's. For some reason I remember reading it one summer while I was in college. It's by the same guy that wrote the book that became Field of Dreams, believe it or not. It's just one of those well written things that makes you think.....
Proving Once Again That I'm Always Right
Just a few thoughts on Baby Hit Me One More Time before I talk about anything else....
-Is anyone else amazed by how annoying the British guy that hosted the show was? Seriously, he had the largest teeth I've ever seen. And really, Stephen Tyler called, he wants his mouth back....
-Arrested Development completely ruled last night, they were the only ones who didn't look like they were in pain, or completely embarrassed to be participating in this. Plus, I couldn't believe Papa OJ was still alive, he was like 107 the last time they were popular....
-Is Tiffany pregnant? Matt brought this up after the show...but really, a year ago, she weighed about 50 pounds less than she does right now.....I'm just saying....
Now, about this whole points thing we put together, after discussing the show with a few different people, and reviewing what was commented earlier in terms of voting, here's what I came up with.
Most Votes: Arrested Development (this was the easy one)
Fewest: They didn't show all the results, so we're throwing this one out....
Aged the worst: The consensus on this one was for Loverboy. Flock of Seagulls was pretty bad in this category as well, but the lead singer in all black, with sunglasses and a receding hairline? That hurt...
Worst of the Cover Songs: Flock of Seagulls...just awful. I mean, that song sucks anyways, and they made it worse somehow......
So that puts us here with points:
Me: 5 points (I'm the only one who got AD right...eat it)
Kara, Matt and Diane: 3 points- Good call on the Loverboy thing....yeah, they're like really old
Steph: 3 points for correctly guessing that Flock of Seagulls can't do their own songs, let alone someone else's....
I'll post something else of substance (or lacking substance later) , I need to do a little work...
-Is anyone else amazed by how annoying the British guy that hosted the show was? Seriously, he had the largest teeth I've ever seen. And really, Stephen Tyler called, he wants his mouth back....
-Arrested Development completely ruled last night, they were the only ones who didn't look like they were in pain, or completely embarrassed to be participating in this. Plus, I couldn't believe Papa OJ was still alive, he was like 107 the last time they were popular....
-Is Tiffany pregnant? Matt brought this up after the show...but really, a year ago, she weighed about 50 pounds less than she does right now.....I'm just saying....
Now, about this whole points thing we put together, after discussing the show with a few different people, and reviewing what was commented earlier in terms of voting, here's what I came up with.
Most Votes: Arrested Development (this was the easy one)
Fewest: They didn't show all the results, so we're throwing this one out....
Aged the worst: The consensus on this one was for Loverboy. Flock of Seagulls was pretty bad in this category as well, but the lead singer in all black, with sunglasses and a receding hairline? That hurt...
Worst of the Cover Songs: Flock of Seagulls...just awful. I mean, that song sucks anyways, and they made it worse somehow......
So that puts us here with points:
Me: 5 points (I'm the only one who got AD right...eat it)
Kara, Matt and Diane: 3 points- Good call on the Loverboy thing....yeah, they're like really old
Steph: 3 points for correctly guessing that Flock of Seagulls can't do their own songs, let alone someone else's....
I'll post something else of substance (or lacking substance later) , I need to do a little work...
Thursday, June 02, 2005
Rambo: Old Blood
There's a Rambo IV that's apparently in preproduction right now.
Really, which would be worse? This? or a Rocky VI? I really hope I never have to find out.
Oh well, at least it won't have anything to do with Ben Affleck.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go work on the script for Blue Crush 2.....
Really, which would be worse? This? or a Rocky VI? I really hope I never have to find out.
Oh well, at least it won't have anything to do with Ben Affleck.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go work on the script for Blue Crush 2.....
Hit Me Baby One More Time
Just a few thoughts before we talk about tonights impending episode of "Hit Me Baby One More Time"
-I reread my live blog of Chaotic from last night, and I can't say that I'm real happy with it. Granted, it was horribly bland last night, and I was really reaching for material.
- In the battle over Ben Affleck, right now, it's a 2-2 battle according to the comments on this post from yesterday, sorry Sarah and Diane, I'm with Lindsey and Kara, he's still a tool....
- I'm using this space to apologize to my doctor right now. I'm sorry, I've tried to do the low-fat snacky food thing, and they all taste like garbage...I can't do it, just give me a portable defibrilator next time I come in.
Okay---On to the good stuff-
Tonight, we get our first of three gaunteed installments of Hit Me Baby One More Time.
Tonights Stellar performers:
A Flock of Seagulls
Arrested Development
CeCe Peniston
Loverboy
Tiffany
Now, I promised some kind of a fantasy game based on the show, but with only 3 episodes set to air, I wonder what they are going to do with it. So as opposed to any detailed type scoring system, I'm offering a very simple solution:
Pick the act to get the most votes: 5 points.
Pick the act that scores the lowest(if they even show them) 5 points
Bonus Categories: (these are a little arbitrary)
Artist or Group who the years have been the worst to: 3 Points
Artist or Group who does the worst job with their cover song: 3 Points
My picks:
Most Votes: Arrested Development
Lowest Score: CeCe Peniston
Group that has aged the worst: Flock of Seagulls in a landslide
Worst Cover Song: Loverboy (for they have always sucked)
If you want to play, just tag along, it's purely for entertainment, and comedic, purposes
-I reread my live blog of Chaotic from last night, and I can't say that I'm real happy with it. Granted, it was horribly bland last night, and I was really reaching for material.
- In the battle over Ben Affleck, right now, it's a 2-2 battle according to the comments on this post from yesterday, sorry Sarah and Diane, I'm with Lindsey and Kara, he's still a tool....
- I'm using this space to apologize to my doctor right now. I'm sorry, I've tried to do the low-fat snacky food thing, and they all taste like garbage...I can't do it, just give me a portable defibrilator next time I come in.
Okay---On to the good stuff-
Tonight, we get our first of three gaunteed installments of Hit Me Baby One More Time.
Tonights Stellar performers:
A Flock of Seagulls
Arrested Development
CeCe Peniston
Loverboy
Tiffany
Now, I promised some kind of a fantasy game based on the show, but with only 3 episodes set to air, I wonder what they are going to do with it. So as opposed to any detailed type scoring system, I'm offering a very simple solution:
Pick the act to get the most votes: 5 points.
Pick the act that scores the lowest(if they even show them) 5 points
Bonus Categories: (these are a little arbitrary)
Artist or Group who the years have been the worst to: 3 Points
Artist or Group who does the worst job with their cover song: 3 Points
My picks:
Most Votes: Arrested Development
Lowest Score: CeCe Peniston
Group that has aged the worst: Flock of Seagulls in a landslide
Worst Cover Song: Loverboy (for they have always sucked)
If you want to play, just tag along, it's purely for entertainment, and comedic, purposes
Wednesday, June 01, 2005
More Chaotic than You
Boys and Girls
I apologize for taking over 24 hours to get you an update on Britney and Kevin: Come See Us On Divorce Court in August...However, these things do take time. That, and a fresh cocktail. Without further ado....
9:05-They start out with the goddamn night vision again. Really, I'm so damn sick of it. At least they aren't on screen making out this time.
9:06 They start talking about who loves who. Britney says she loves him, Kevin doesn't say anything. Britney tells him "Well I thought that's how I felt, but I take it back now" Do you think she had a lobotomy recently? Or has she always been this retarded.
9:08 Britney "All we do is live a bunch of different moments". Yes, and you, and I, and everyone else is going to be wishing for this one back.....
9:09 Britney smoking a cigarette. My faith in White Trash Britney is restored! Maybe they can start making a Britney WT doll to combat the Lohan doll.....
9:10 Britney boxing and goofing off with her bodyguards. Strange, but the first time in 3 weeks I haven't seen her with Kevin, or talking, and I don't find her nauseating.....
I apologize for taking over 24 hours to get you an update on Britney and Kevin: Come See Us On Divorce Court in August...However, these things do take time. That, and a fresh cocktail. Without further ado....
9:05-They start out with the goddamn night vision again. Really, I'm so damn sick of it. At least they aren't on screen making out this time.
9:06 They start talking about who loves who. Britney says she loves him, Kevin doesn't say anything. Britney tells him "Well I thought that's how I felt, but I take it back now" Do you think she had a lobotomy recently? Or has she always been this retarded.
9:08 Britney "All we do is live a bunch of different moments". Yes, and you, and I, and everyone else is going to be wishing for this one back.....
9:09 Britney smoking a cigarette. My faith in White Trash Britney is restored! Maybe they can start making a Britney WT doll to combat the Lohan doll.....
9:10 Britney boxing and goofing off with her bodyguards. Strange, but the first time in 3 weeks I haven't seen her with Kevin, or talking, and I don't find her nauseating.....
9:11 Kevin "Nothing worth having ever is (easy)" Well, I'll give him credit, he's working pretty damn hard on this scam.....so I guess it isn't easy.....
9:16 They start talking about Brad Pitt, and sleeping with other people, and I'm not even sure if either of them are capable of coherent thoughts......
9:18 Britney smokes again! Awesome. Every mother of a 12-15 year old girl just cringed more in the last five minutes than during the Britney-Madonna kiss incident. Remember kids, dyking it out is just an experiment, smoking is flat out bad for you.....
9:20 Britney "I feel like I'm living a movie right now" Really? Then turn off the fucking camera.
9:22 Britney and Kevin talk about how they are feeling for each other, with Kevin saying that it's not a hook up that it's "one of those things that's too good to be true" I'm melting my flip flops to my feet using a lighter right now.......
9:24 Britney talks about how Kevin was being a control freak when they went to the clubs. Chill baby. He's just protecting his cash cow...ya know??
9:26 Extreme close up and extended speaking part for K-Fed. Can we get an over/under on what year he completed in school? I'll say 10th grade....and take the under.
9:27 Kevin "I'm far from perfect" Smartest thing he's said in 3 weeks, maybe even his entire life.
9:29 Show's over. My alma-mater just called and asked for their diploma back......
Minor Delay
I know, I know, there's no Chaotic liveblog up yet....I get it, I have a problem.
Actually, I just didn't get home until late last night, and then was all kinds of tired, so I really never got to watching the Tivo of it. I promise, that I will have a full recap for you tonight, as soon as I get home, do a bunch of crap, and get settled in. Promise. (Don't worry, last I checked, Lindsey hadn't done hers yet either, so apparently I'm in good shape)
Also, just an item of note. I was watching The Sum of All Fears on Monday while I was resting off my 4th consecutive hangover, and I noticed something quite interesting: Ben Affleck is an awful actor. I mean, he's really bad. I kept watching him trying to be Jack Ryan and realized that I really dislike him. And I'm not saying that just because he's apparently on a quest to be engaged to every famous woman name Jennifer in the universe, especially ones with the last name Garner. I mean, really, he was much better off playing the moderately stupid, meathead smaller parts (see: Dazed and Confused, Good Will Hunting, Mallrats)
So that's it, I'm starting a petition: The Ben Affleck, Please Stop Doing Movies Petition.
It's totally fine girls, he can still be famous, even without doing anything (hey it's still working for Paris Hilton) so you guys can still totally look at him and drool on your pillows thinking about him at night, but this will spare us all from more atrocitities like Jersey Girl.....
Actually, I just didn't get home until late last night, and then was all kinds of tired, so I really never got to watching the Tivo of it. I promise, that I will have a full recap for you tonight, as soon as I get home, do a bunch of crap, and get settled in. Promise. (Don't worry, last I checked, Lindsey hadn't done hers yet either, so apparently I'm in good shape)
Also, just an item of note. I was watching The Sum of All Fears on Monday while I was resting off my 4th consecutive hangover, and I noticed something quite interesting: Ben Affleck is an awful actor. I mean, he's really bad. I kept watching him trying to be Jack Ryan and realized that I really dislike him. And I'm not saying that just because he's apparently on a quest to be engaged to every famous woman name Jennifer in the universe, especially ones with the last name Garner. I mean, really, he was much better off playing the moderately stupid, meathead smaller parts (see: Dazed and Confused, Good Will Hunting, Mallrats)
So that's it, I'm starting a petition: The Ben Affleck, Please Stop Doing Movies Petition.
It's totally fine girls, he can still be famous, even without doing anything (hey it's still working for Paris Hilton) so you guys can still totally look at him and drool on your pillows thinking about him at night, but this will spare us all from more atrocitities like Jersey Girl.....
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