I love having randomly titled posts, b/c really, if they were clear cut, would you even bother to read on? Probably not. Nevertheless, I figured after my completely random live blogging of Britney and Kevin: Soon Your Kids Will Be White Trash Just Like Us...I figured I owed maybe some kind of a more serious, thoughtful blog. That or I'm just letting things that I've heard lately get on my nerves a bit. Either way, I felt like writing something a bit different than what I've written lately.
Now, mind you, I am by no means and advocate of getting married at such a young age. I think that people change way too much between the ages of 23 and 28, and because of that, I think that it makes it hard for a relationship that started when you were 21 or 22 years old, if not younger, to last.
My basis for this is quite simple. I know more people my age that are divorced or getting divorced than I do that are married. I have at least 4 friends under the age of 26 that have gotten divorced in the last 6 months, and none of them were married for more than a year.
Granted, I do have several friends getting married this summer, and hopefully those will all last. You'd like to think that they will.
The thing is: What causes this to happen? Why doesn't anyone stay together anymore? Why do people get married if they're going to cheat a whole 5 months later?
There's a lot of potential answers to these questions. However, I think it boils down to one pretty imperative thing. We (our generation especially) has a thing for immediate gratification, and an atrociously short attention span. I'm the first one to admit that I'm guilty of this. I'm a totally serial dater.
What happens, I think, is that people get into their mid 20s and from somewhere, after they finish college, get the message in their head from parents/friends/themselves etc, that they should probably start looking to get married and start a family. Next thing you know, they latch on to the next person that comes along, gets married, then a few months, maybe a bit later, realizes that they aren't that happy with the person that they chose out of haste.
The same stuff is what causes all of the cheating...the short attention spans, the need for instant gratification, the whole thing. People can't even wait to have their divorce done before they start fooling around, and half the time they can't even be bothered to tell their spouse until after the fact.
Does this mean that everyone that gets married young won't make it? No, I'm not saying that, so don't leave any evil comments on my blog. I'm certainly no saint either in terms of my dating practices, and that's part of the reason that I'm still not married. Well, that and the fact that I don't think anybody could stand me for that serious a length of time at this point in my life.
What I'm saying is, that most people aren't a finished product at age 25. You just change too much, and if you aren't with someone who's going to be willing to live with most of the changes, then you probably aren't suppossed to be with that person.
The lesson here? Patience my young friends, patience. Besides, if you get married for the first time when you're 30, people will have better jobs and bring way better gifts. If you get married a second time when you're in your 30s, people won't bring crap.....
Okay, that was entirely too deep...I'll get something more amusing up later...just wanted to throw that out there in light of the fact that I start my Wedding Carousel 2005 this weekend.
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2 comments:
Totally agree with you, even though I'm 26 and want to get married...but not until I find the right person who's compatible with me. I refuse to settle. NEVER SETTLE FOR SHIT!
I'm totally on board with you with on this one. There's no need to rush. I've had a great time dating people to find out what I really like, what I don't like, what I'm attracted to, and who I am in the midst of it all. I've had my flings (the exotic Venezualan guy here on a work Visa, the extremely rich guy that drove me nuts) just for the thrill factor, and I've had my serious boyfriends, too. I think I know much more about me and what I want out of life at 28 than I did at 22 or 23. Like Bev said, I'm ready to meet my match, but not willing to settle just to settle down. Plus, I want good gifts, so I guess I can wait until I'm 30. LOL!
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