Tailgaiting

So, on my last post, there was a comment that asked "What is tailgating?" I didn't feel like I could give a good answer just in another comment, and I really can't fathom reading anymore about monopolies and perfect competition, and demand elasticity, so I figure I owe it to our friends abroad to try and explain it. I like lists, so that's how it's going to work.

Location: Tailgating typically takes place a large parking lot within walking distance of the stadium that you are going to, or in the case of a lot of colleges, in a large grassy area where cars can be parked. This allows you to interact with friends, other fans of your team, and to viciously heckle/verbally assault fans of the team you are playing that day. Cursing and slurs about the sexuality of your oppenents is encouraged.

What to wear: Dress for the occassion. This is NOT a black tie event. If you wear khakis, you will be beaten. If you wear a collared shirt, unless it's a polo with the team logo, you will be mocked. Jerseys, jeans (shorts if it's warm) Tennis shoes, hats; these are what you should expect to show up dressed in.

Transportation: The average person just brings their car, puts a few friends in it to save on the parking fee, and parks in the lot. The hardcore (ie: moderately insane) drive assorted types of vehicles, which are ideal for drawing attention to oneself, and carrying a lot of stuff. At Browns games, you'll see a few RV's, some old converted school buses, and even a hearse or a limo as well. Of course, these are old and run down, and have been painted in home team colors.

What to bring: You'll need a grill. Those little portable propane ones are ideal if you are just taking a car, otherwise, go big. If you have a big truck, and want to strap something larger to the back of it, feel free. Also, in some cases, you might want to buy one of those portable camping toilets with you. Trust me, it comes in handy when the nearest portable provided by the city is far away from your parking spot. Oh, also, bring a football, and some sort of yard game like cornhole or Texas horseshoes to play, b/c you're going to be there for a few hours, and what are you going to do? Stand around and talk? I don't think so.

Food and Beverage: Meat. Lots of meat. Burgers, ribs, sausages, steaks....you get the idea. Tailgaters don't so much like vegetables and fruits. Fruits might be okay if they've been sliced and soaked overnight in alcohol, but that's about it. Vegetables? Unless it's cut up and on a skewer between a couple pieces of chicken or steak, no one wants to see those either. Oh, and you'll need beer. Plenty of beer. Because going to a game sober is like, I don't know, going on a date sober. It's just not as much fun. If you are adventerous, you can bring some hard liqour as well, but that's really being aggressive.

So there you go, a brief guide to tailgating. Hope that helps folks!