Things Parents Just Don't Understand Volume 39

Ok. Honestly, at 28, I shouldn't be making jokes about things that my parents don't get. However, sometimes, they, despite being great people, good parents, and relatively intelligent people, do manage to amaze me with their lagging in certain realms.

So, I headed home this past Sunday, to spend some time with them to celebrate my birthday, and my mother's, which is a relatively normal thing this time of year. Of course, I made this trip with a pretty hefty hangover, courtesy of Saturday night, but, that part can wait.

Over the course of the day, my father mentions that he's looking at a new set of irons for the upcoming summer. Apparently, old age hasnt' quite caught up with him yet, and he doesn't need the graphite shaft irons he bought a couple of years ago. Good for him. He also mentions that he's a little concerned about the price of said irons, b/c for as often as he golfs etc, he wonders if they're really worth it.

I asked him if he'd looked on eBay for them. You know, since you can get a lot of stuff cheaper on eBay. If words were actually physical items that came out of my mouth, the eBay suggestion would have been snatched out of the air and stomped to death by my mother before they even had a chance.

Apparently, according to my mother, who controls the spending, eBay, and in the world of shopping on the internet in general is populated by scammers, liars, and people generally looking to take advantage of you.

So, of course, I made the point that a venture, any venture, couldn't exist for as long as eBay had if the majority of the people using the site were dishonest. The whole system would implode upon itself.

That argument actually almost swayed her. Then, I brought out the heavy hitter "Mom, look, do you want to see if you can save some money on these clubs, or what?"

That at least got her to agree to let me show her on the computer how "the eBay" worked.

There, I got to answer questions about how to find stuff, etc, the usual. That stuff I could live with. Finally, I found a set that was going for about $150 less than he was going to pay for them in the store. There was like an hour left in the auction.

Mom: "Are you sure these are new clubs?
Me: Yes
Mom: How do you know?
Me: It says right there that it's a new set
Dad: These clubs just came out this year, so they would almost have to be new
Mom: Are you sure?
Me: Well, since the picutres still show the plastic sheathing around the shafts, I'm going to guess so. Besides, this guy has a strong rating, so I'm guessing that he's honest.
Mom: A good what?
Me (trying to be patient. And failing): His rating, when you sell something on ebay, the person that buys it gets to give feedback on the item and your service, etc. A higher rating means that he's sold a lot of items, and if he's got a real high percentage of positive ratings, that means that he's a good, honest seller. (Note: This guys rating was like 2300 something, and it was 100% positive. I think we were safe)
Mom: Well, if we get them, how do we pay for them? I'm not giving this person my credit card #
Me (at this point, I don't want to explain PayPal) Well, I'll tell you what, since I already have an eBay account, I'll get the clubs, use my PayPal account, and send them to your office. Fair? Just write me a check.
Mom: Well, if you think it's safe. If I don't get the clubs though, you're giving me my money back.
Me: Outstanding.

Moral of the story? I got my dad his clubs for about 135$ less than he would have paid in the store for them. And my parents didn't learn anything.

I told my dad that when he retires, he should take one of those community college classes or something that they offer for older people, that would help him really understand the internet. His statement? "I understand the internet!"

Trust me. He doesn't.